Sleep Training

September 25, 2008 12:48 by Rachel

     I ran across this story a while back and saved it on my computer because I thought it was hilarious.  However, I forgot about it until I was cleaning files on my computer today and ran across it again.  It is so funny I just have to share it.  I am not sure who wrote it so I can’t give credit, but I know all of your parents out there will appreciate it. 

Sleep Training... OK, here's my situation. My Mommy has had me for almost 7 months. The first few months were great-- I cried, she picked me up and fed me, anytime, day or night. Then something happened. Over the last few weeks, she has been trying to STTN (sleep thru the night). At first, I thought it was just a phase, but it is only getting worse. I've talked to other babies, and it seems like it's pretty common after Mommies have had us for around 6 months. Here's the thing: these Mommies don't really need to sleep. It's just a habit. Many of them have had some 30 years to sleep--they just don't need it anymore. So I am implementing a plan. I call it the Crybaby Shuffle. It goes like this: Night 1--cry every 3 hours until you get fed. I know, it's hard. It's hard to see your Mommy upset over your crying. Just keep reminding yourself, it's for her own good. Night 2--cry every 2 hours until you get fed. Night 3--every hour. Most Mommies will start to respond more quickly after about 3 nights. Some Mommies are more alert, and may resist the change longer. These Mommies may stand in your doorway for hours, shhhh-ing. Don't give in. I cannot stress this enough: CONSISTENCY IS KEY!! If you let her STTN (sleep through the night), just once, she will expect it every night. I KNOW IT'S HARD! But she really does not need the sleep, she is just resisting the change. If you have an especially alert Mommy, you can stop crying for about 10 minutes, just long enough for her to go back to bed and start to fall asleep. Then cry again. It WILL eventually work. My Mommy once stayed awake for 10 hours straight, so I know she can do it. Last night, I cried every hour. You just have to decide to stick to it and just go for it. BE CONSISTENT! I cried for any reason I could come up with. My sleep sack tickled my foot. I felt a wrinkle under the sheet. My mobile made a shadow on the wall. I burped, and it tasted like pears. I hadn't eaten pears since lunch, what's up with that? The cat said "meow". I should know. My Mommy reminds me of this about 20 times a day. LOL. Once I cried just because I liked how it sounded when it echoed on the monitor in the other room. Too hot, too cold, just right--doesn't matter! Keep crying!! It took awhile, but it worked. She fed me at 4am. Tomorrow night, my goal is 3:30am. You need to slowly shorten the interval between feedings in order to reset your Mommies' internal clocks. P.S. Don't let those rubber things fool you, no matter how long you suck on them, no milk will come out. Trust me


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Comments

September 25. 2008 21:48

MizFit

GOOD GOSH my TODDLER NEEDS SOME SLEEP TRAINING STAT Smile

thank you for the laugh.
my tired arse needed it.

MizFit

September 26. 2008 01:14

M

Very tough...I think because I was so weak with letting my kids cry they now have sleeping disorders. It looks like you have a great plan! Enjoy your weekend, hope you are feeling better!

M

September 26. 2008 02:39

Tina

Hilarious!

Tina

October 1. 2008 05:19

JoeGirl

So so funny, Rachel! Thank goodness my boys are well beyond this stage...

JoeGirl

October 1. 2008 23:41

m

Just checking in...hope you and your family are doing fantastic!

m

October 2. 2008 05:27

Rachel

Smile I am glad I could give everyone a laugh.

Mark- thanks for checking in! We have all finally gotten over whatever it was we had and are feeling much better. Smile

Rachel

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